I'm back! I was being a tourist.

I'm back!  Last Thursday I left for Chicago to accompany my husband on a business trip and didn't bother to take my computer.  To be honest, I wasn't sure if I  should write anything again.  I kept thinking to myself that it was silly and that no one would really care what I have to say and they would laugh at the thought of me writing anything, but I have 2 great supporters, my dearest friend and my son.  I wasn't going to tell anyone I know about my blog, but when I talked to my friend and my son, the subject just kind of came up and I told them.  My friend told me that if it made me feel good then do it and then in a conversation with my son today, he basically said the same thing.  Neither one of them laughed at me or said I was silly.  So here it goes.  As the new me I am making a commitment to myself to write every day and if I am not feeling good about it, then I will stop. 

I wanted to tell you about my trip because for one, I love traveling and discovering things and two, it allowed me think in a different setting.  So for the weekend I was a tourist. For two days while my husband worked, I wandered the city and enjoyed the architecture, art, and city parks.  My husbands colleague asked me what I wanted to see and I replied that I had nothing in mind but to enjoy the city and do things I enjoy such as take pictures.  I had no real goal and when I am traveling, that fits me. 

I covered the whole downtown area of Chicago and my feet have the blisters to prove it!  I started Thursday with lunch at the Park Grill in Millennium Park  with my husband and his colleague.  After lunch, I wandered through the park and enjoyed the sights; the Bean, the Big Head, and the gardens.  Then I headed toward my favorite building, the Chicago Tribune building to look at the stones in the side of the building.  Many people don't even realize that there are pieces of famous sites and building and even a moon rock set in the outside walls of the building.  We ended a perfect day with a ride on the ferris wheel on Navy Pier.

The next day I did more of the same.  I took the architectural boat tour and had a small bite to eat a Cyrano's Cafe and Wine Bar on the river.  Such an amazing setting.  Then I met up with my husband, his colleague and his wife and we headed to Wrigley field to see Gavin DeGraw and Billy Joel.  We headed home on Saturday. It was an amazing trip.  

I think I could be a career tourist, but I think it costs you money instead of making money.  I will have to think on that more. 

 

Today is a new day.  What is it I am going to do today?  Who will I be?

I have started with a yoga class which concentrates on gratitude, setting a purpose for the day, and taking time for yourself.  It is truly the most refreshing part of my day.  I'm not very good at it and I have learned that I have absolutely no balance, but it is still very refreshing as long as I remember that you can't be hard on yourself.

I have made a pact with myself;  I am going to re-brand.  I don't think it is going to be easy but I am going to do it.  I decided that today it will start with a new haircut.  I went to my stylist, Stephanie, and said "Make me someone new."  She cut off the long hair that I have had all my life and here I am with a short new bob.  It's a happy, bouncy haircut just like the person I used to be and want to be again.  It's perfect.  It's a great start. 

Now what?  Everyday I have a process to look for interesting jobs on the internet, fill out applications and follow up on those that I have sent out.  It hasn't worked very good, but I will continue the process just in case.  Our sofa is getting ugly and worn and with 3 kids in college, it isn't the right time to get a new one.  I am going to stain the sofa a different color - dark brown!  My husband will freak, but he will get used to it.  We have been married 29 years and he is pretty accustom to coming home to see my "PROJECTS" as he calls them.  Maybe I will find a new talent, something I can turn into a business.

I like the color and I have learned 2 things:  wear gloves because your hand look horrible afterwards (a good excuse for a manicure I guess) and you need a lot more stain than you think you will!  Oh well, the project will just take a little longer than expected.  2 4 ounce bottles of stain only covers 2 cushions, I never would have guessed it would take so much! I can't wait to see the finished product, but it will have to be next week because I didn't pay for express shipping.

I didn't find the new me today, but I did accomplish 2 things.  Tomorrow will be a new day and I am setting off on an adventure for 3 days.  Something we hadn't been able to do before because of all the responsibilities with the kids.  I am going to Chicago with my husband.  He will work and I will explore my opportunities from a different location.

Before

New Color

The Kids are Gone, What Now?

Everyone looks forward to that day when they drop their last child at college and head home.  We are empty-nesters at last!  The next major miles stone is when the last one is off the payroll.  That is all I have been hearing for the last 22 years.  For Dad, it was a great day.  He was so so giddy that he just can't quit smiling.  I'm happy for him, but all I can think of is what now?  Who am I?

I was a successful electrical engineer who was devoted to her career and then I had my first child and my world changed but I still  knew who I was and I had a plan as I always had.  Within 4 years, I had two more beautiful children.  They have been my pride and joy and for 22 year they have consumed the majority of my time.  When my first daughter was 6 we knew she had some kind of learning disability and I decided it was time to stay home and make sure she was successful in school.  On May 17, she graduated from University of Missouri and had a job waiting for her, so I know that I made the right decision.

Last September, I sent my baby to college and that is when my world changed.  For the first time in my life I felt lost.  I hadn't worked for 15 years and even though I had volunteered as many hours as a full time job, most of my volunteer work was for organizations my kids were part of, so that also came to an end.  I thought I was prepared, I had been looking for a "real" job for the last 2 years but had had now luck.  My thinking was that it just wasn't meant to be yet.  I still keep telling myself that, but some days it is hard to stay positive and believe that that statement is true.

Every day I get up and I say "What Now?"  Its a new day and with that I am determined to try something new everyday until I can find my new self no matter how hard it might be.  Today I am starting a blog.  It feels good just to say what has been hiding in my head for 2 years.  Its a good start!